Resilience Practice: Name, Normalize, and Nurture

Challenging our viewpoints and past practices can be hard, it’s can bring out anxiety, stress and defensiveness. Instead of getting stuck in a cycle of shame or anger, let’s use this moment to challenge ourselves and grow! Distress tolerance allows us to confront life’s difficulties staying while staying centered. This exercise is a powerful resilience practice for building that internal support. It helps you stay grounded when discomfort shows up, especially when confronting internalized perfectionism or cultural conditioning.  
1. Name

When you feel tension, shame, or defensiveness while unlearning, pause and name what’s happening without judgment.  Example: “I’m feeling anxious because I made a mistake.”  This step activates awareness instead of reactivity. Naming the emotion helps bring it from the body into conscious recognition, reducing its intensity.

2. Normalize

Remind yourself that discomfort is a sign of growth, not failure. Example: “It makes sense that I feel this way—unlearning challenges what I was taught to see as safe or right.”  This reframes distress as part of the process, not proof that you’re doing it wrong. It builds tolerance for imperfection and ambiguity.

3. Nurture

Offer your nervous system care instead of correction.  

Take three slow breaths, unclench your jaw, or place a hand on your chest.  

Ask: “What does my body need to feel a little safer right now?”  

This step reinforces that you can experience discomfort and stay connected to yourself.

Why It Works

This practice builds emotional resilience by teaching your body and mind that discomfort doesn’t have to equal danger. Over time, it rewires your response to stress, helping you remain open and curious in moments that once triggered self-criticism or withdrawal.  

After practicing, ask yourself:  

“What did I learn about myself in this moment of discomfort? This turns distress into data—fuel for deeper self-awareness and liberation. Using “Name, Normalize, and Nurture” regularly helps you stay present through the messy, nonlinear process of unlearning, allowing growth to feel more sustainable and compassionate rather than punitive.

Watch the full youtube video supporting the practice on my youtube channel!